Today isn't just any Wednesday. It's a Wednesday that has been positively overtaken and overrun by Doctor Who spoilers. From set pictures to episode synopses, they're everywhere, like an omnipresent, unavoidable… thing. So, we are now going to report on them. But, as we respect the rights of those who don't want to know any of the things we're about to write about, we hereby give you the opportunity to bugger off and read something else.
Go on - go.
See if we care.
Seriously… what follows is really quite spoileriffic.
**FINAL WARNING: Here be Doctor Who spoilers in their… well, not quite millions, but there's definitely more than one.**
Still here?
Good. Because there's some really good stuff in amongst the words that follow.
#1. Joanna Page & David Tennant Spotted On Set!
Ever since the BBC confirmed David Tennant's Doctor Who return, we imagine every photographer in Wales has been desperately hunting for the first shots of him in that suit. And, some lucky devil has managed to spot not only Mr Teninch on a hillside, but also 50th anniversary special guest star Joanna Page in some distinctly Elizabethan-looking garb.
Could she be playing Elizabeth I herself? If so, we're hoping for lots of "Virgin Queen"-type innuendo… Ooh! Ooh! A lightbulb just shone shiny bright in our brains! We suspect there's some wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey stuff happening here…
#2. The Zygons
They ain't the prettiest Doctor Who monster ever, are they?
But, presumably, 'looking nice' wasn't high on the list of demands for Stephen Moffat when he crafted his 50th Anniversary: Must Have Monsters list for the episode.
Rambling aside, the bumpy baddies will definitely be returning nearly 38 years after their first appearance on the show for some shape-shifting antics. We doubt, however, that they'll be the only adversary the Doctors have to face.
Somebody at BBC South Africa is getting a good and proper wrist-slapping right about now. Details about the four episodes of season seven that will lead up to the 50th anniversary special have been leaked… and read thus:
"Journey to the Centre of the Tardis: The Tardis has crashed, Clara is lost inside, and the Doctor has 30 minutes before his ship explodes!There's all kinds of greatness here: Clara lost in the Tardis (which means we get to see more of the Tardis), Victorian Yorkshire (Steampunky goodness galore), and the Doctor at a theme park (Matt Smith will kill this episode with his comedy stylings).
The Crimson Horror: Something ghastly is afoot in Victorian Yorkshire, as bodies are found with their skin a waxy, glowing red.
Nightmare In Silver: Hedgewick’s World of Wonders: the perfect theme park day out – and ground zero for a deadly silver resurrection.
The Funeral Of River Song(TITLE UNCONFIRMED): Someone is kidnapping the Doctor’s friends, leading him towards the one place in all of time and space that he should never go."
But that last plot - that's a biggie, isn't it? Which friends? And which place? Gallifrey? Skegness? Or, possibly the most likely option, Dårlig Ulv Stranden, also known as Bad Wolf Bay?
Is anybody else getting the tingles?
#4. No More McCoy
Not so much a spoiler as information, really, but Seventh Doctor Sylvester McCoy has ruled out any chance of reuniting with the Tardis.
During a recent interview with Den of Geek, McCoy was asked directly if fans should expect his Seventh Doctor to appear in the anniversary special with Tennant and Matt Smith.
"No," McCoy emphatically answered to the website.
He went on to say: "Somebody mentioned something that the BBC is running on the weekend when it goes out.
"Big Finish have done us proud [with an audio special], they're coming out with something really exciting. The BBC, we've heard nothing though."
Sad, but not unexpected news. Still, we do know the 50th anniversary episode will pay homage to Matt Smith's predecessors… and we also know that when it comes to Doctor Who, people lie. Lots.
Doctor Who continues this weekend with 'The Rings of Akhaten' on BBC One in the UK and BBC America in the US.
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