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Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Sci-Fi's Best Swears

Posted on 04:00 by rajrani
We don't have a problem with profanity here at GG♥SF. Swears are said on a daily basis at our HQ (in a ladylike manner, of course), with extra points given for creative usage.

And though we're respectful that not everyone has the casual attitude towards language that we do, we don't half find it funny when American shows take censorship past the point of realism. The best example is, of course, Jack Bauer off of 24. This is a character who kills without thought or remorse, does torture, shoots heroin, and still never utters anything more objectionable than a "dammit" or "screw you!" over the course of nine unbelievably bad days and one sort of blah TV movie.

Of course sci-fi and fantasy series, being what they are, get to have a little creativity with words in that they can curse in different languages - whether alien, foreign, or simply made up - often with amusing results that provide us geeks with in-jokes galore.

Here are 13 of our favourites:

"Shtako" - Defiance

Technically an undefined expletive, the Castithan word "shtako" sounds an awful lot like "shit". It's used in exactly the same way, too. (Bonus knowledge: It's not a swear but "jemilo" is Castithan for "clitoris"… in case that ever comes in handy.)

"Frak" - Battlestar Galactica

Possibly the most well-known and oft-used fictional expletive, "frak" is exactly as it sounds - a substitute for the "fuck" word. Originally used in the 1978 Battlestar series, it has since been uttered in the re-imagined version, Caprica, and pretty much every TV show that wanted to prove its geek credentials ever. (Bonus knowledge: "Fräck", which translates to "audacious" in Swedish, is also the name of an IKEA mirror. "Frack", without the umlaut, means "tailcoat". You're welcome.)

"Frell" - Farscape

Following the rule that all words beginning with the letter 'f' should work as a stand in for "fuck" ("fork," "flaps," "face,"… oh, shut up - some of them work), "frell" takes the principle one step further by combining "fuck" and "hell" - this is etymology at its best, people.

"Dren" - Farscape

Because there are some situations where the 'f' word just won't do, Farscape also needed a euphemism for "shit" - and so, "dren" was born. (Bonus knowledge: "Dren" is "nerd" spelled backwards… take from that what you will.)

"Goram" - Firefly

A simple conjunction of the words "God" and "damn", "goram" always sounds a little more aggressive and naughty when uttered sexily by Captain Mal. It is of course just one of the many curses in the Firefly lexicon, alongside "ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng," (frog-humping son of a bitch), "boo hway-hun duh puo-foo," (remorseless harridan), and…

"Rutting" - Firefly
As the Urban Dictionary puts it, "rutting" is: "A substitute for "fucking", with most of the same applications in common usage and with much the same vulgarity." Come to think of it, a lot of Firefly insults involve Chinese words for humping. Hmm… interesting.

"Shazbot" - Mork & Mindy
"Na-Nu Na-Nu" wasn't the only catchphrase to come out of Mork & Mindy. The word "shazbot" gave kids from the late 70s and early 80s license to shout "SHIIIIIIT" at the top of their lungs to their hearts content without their parents or teachers being any the wiser… or so we thought. On reflection, our mums are probably cleverer than that.

"Smeg" - Red Dwarf

Another playground favourite, "smeg" was used to replace practically every vulgarity in the English language to the point of hilarious ridiculousness. The show's creators have repeatedly claimed to know nothing of the medical term "smegma" (look it up, we're not going there) upon which everybody assumed it was based. Still, we doubt it was an unhappy coincidence.

"Mik'ta" - Stargate SG-1

"Arse" is such a great word, it seems a pity to substitute it at all. But clearly the Goa'uld needed their own - frankly inferior - version. We do, however, appreciate the variations, which are very British in their translation: "Mik'ta" = "arse", "mik'ta-ha" = "arsehole", mik'ta-na = my arse. Lovely.

"Frag" - Babylon 5

We're back to the barely-concealed F-bomb with this little beauty, a clear nod to the Battlestar version with similar variations - "fragging," "fragged," etc, etc.

"Shrock" - Babylon 5
A Narn word used to express anger, disgust and surprise, "shrock" is also peppered throughout Babylon 5 scripts. (Bonus knowledge: At this point, we feel the need to give a special shout-out to the Babylon 5 taunt "Kiss my pouch!", the meaning of which is clear and obvious. How can we make this happen in popular vernacular?)

"Drokk" - Judge Dredd
The favourite exclamation of Mega City One inhabitants, "drokk" sadly doesn't mean anything derogatory or sexual and is in no way linked with faeces. Still, it's a good word.

And finally, our favourite...

"Belgium" - The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
We've known since we were kids that rude words are funny - but this offering from The Hitchhiker's Guide is perhaps the one that makes us laugh out loud most frequently. "Belgium". It's just so wonderfully silly, isn't it? It is, of course, also a lesson in why swearing is sometimes inappropriate - if Earth hadn't named a small country for the most unspeakably rude word in the galaxy, we might not be shunned by other races. We should learn from this, and grow. And one day, we just might.
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