We're rejoicing at the release of the new Iron Man 3 poster here at GG♥SF HQ. In many ways, it's kind of perfect. There's drama, action, and the delicious Robert Downey Jr. What's not to love?Well, now we mention it...
It seems that Iron Man 3 will see Mr Stark plummet to his almost-death once again.
This will mark the third time Tony has hurtled back towards earth, barely protected by a wrecked suit. Presumably he'll survive the fall once more, because that's how these things work, but did they really have to do it again? Seriously. We love a slo-mo death-spiral as much as anyone, but wouldn't it be nice if Iron Man was nearly killed off in slightly more imaginative fashion?
Because we love a bit of bad taste banter, we've come up with a few near-death experiences Marvel should've thought about for the Golden Avenger before they resorted to the patented plummet once more:
#1. Drowning
Stark's suit is capable of going underwater, so why don't we see him do it more? Not that we want him to veer into Namor or Aquaman territory, but a bit of oceanic exploration would give us variety. Just think of the possibilities for a mid-dip mechanical failure. Get out of that one, Stark.
#2. Collision with an inanimate object
We learned when we were kids that it's funny when people crash in to things. And there's plenty of thinks on this beautiful planet of ours that might get in Tony's way. Skyscrapers, bridges, Mount Rushmore… if Stark's going at enough speed, any one of them could be deadly.
#3. Collision with a moving object
A natural progression from #2, but one with the potential for a little more excitement, dramatic tension and, most importantly, a much bigger explosion. Of course, this could happen in the air - plane, rocket, hot air balloon, etc - prompting that now familiar tumble to terra firma, but wouldn't it be more fun if he was simply hit from behind by a train or a tank or a really big truck?
#4. Magneto
We've seen this battle happen on paper before. Tony Stark's technology is so advanced that it can pretty much defeat any foe. Pretty much. The notable exception is, of course, the Master of Magnetism, whose powers can easily outsmart and overcome Iron Man's advanced armour. And yes, we know there's always the convenient option of a bit of suit de-magnetisation for Tone, but we're very purposefully ignoring it for the purposes of this feature, mostly because this is a fight we'd love to see played out on screen.
#5. A good beating
This one's easy. You just can't beat a bit of good, old-fashioned fisticuffs, can you? Hulk's simple defeat of Loki in The Avengers Assemble was perfect, which leads us to think that maybe the best way for Iron Man to nearly meet his maker would simply be to get his face smashed in. Of course, Stark and Banner have got quite the bromance going on, meaning Hulk probably wouldn't be the one to deliver the beating in this case (probably), but he's certainly not the only big bad in the Marvel cannon who could cave in that mask with a well-aimed punch or two.
Just a thought. Mull it over while you watch the new Superbowl teaser trailer and let us know if you've got anything to add to the list.
Iron Man 3 will open in cinemas on 26th April, 2013.
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